The Truth About ‘Don’t Smile Until the Holidays'

The teaching world is full of advice—some timeless, some outdated, and some downright baffling. One such gem that’s made the rounds for decades? “Don’t smile until the holidays.”

Let’s take a moment to unpack this. The myth suggests that teachers should maintain a strict, no-nonsense demeanor at the start of the year to establish authority and discipline. Then, only after the holidays (presumably once students are sufficiently ‘trained’), can you let your guard down and smile.

But here’s the thing—teaching isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, and relationship-building doesn’t have to wait until December!

Where Did This Myth Come From?

The earliest mention I’ve found of this advice dates back to the 1980s in professional teaching literature. It was likely born from a time when classrooms prioritized strict authoritarian control. Back then, a ‘serious teacher’ was synonymous with a successful one. Thankfully, educational philosophies have evolved, and we now understand the power of connection and trust in fostering effective learning environments.

Why This Myth Doesn’t Work Today

Students thrive in classrooms where they feel valued, respected, and understood. Building rapport from day one sets the tone for a positive and productive year. Smiling and showing warmth doesn’t weaken your authority—it humanizes you and encourages students to reciprocate kindness and respect.

The Modern Approach: Balancing Warmth and Structure

Of course, boundaries and routines are still important. But you don’t need to sacrifice warmth to establish them. Here are some ways to balance approachability with structure:

1. Start with clear expectations: Let students know the rules and routines early.
2. Be consistent: Follow through on your promises—whether it’s praise or consequences.
3. Connect through kindness: Smile, use humor, and take a genuine interest in your students.

Teaching Myths You Can Break

The “don’t smile” rule isn’t the only outdated teaching tip. Others include:

• “Treat every student the same.” Equity, not equality, is the goal.
• “Never admit when you don’t know something.” Modeling lifelong learning inspires students.

What’s Your Teaching Myth?

Hopefully you have happily broken the “don’t smile” myth—and have been grinning for weeks! I still want to know more about you: What teaching myths have you joyfully left behind? Share your experiences in the comments.

Let’s keep rewriting the rulebook—because teaching is as much about heart as it is about strategy. 💛

Want more support for navigating your first year? Check out our tools and tips to help new teachers thrive.